Every Tom Cruise movie, part 5: All the Right Moves (1983)

Well, this seems like a standard teen drama, and probably an inspiration for Friday Night Lights, also…wait a minute, why is there full frontal male nudity in this? Tom Cruise had a penis double!

This is the first Tom Cruise movie featuring the Tom Cruise run. Tom Cruise is the best movie runner of all time. In this movie, he races his girlfriend to his house after meeting her outside on the street corner where she is playing the saxophone (yes, that is an actual scene from this movie). He DESTROYS her in this race. Lea Thompson cannot movie run for shit. Tom Cruise looks like he’s auditioning for the Olympic 100 meter dash.

There’s a scene later in the movie where Cruise’s character stands up in front of his high school football teammates at a party to give a speech. Why does he want to give a speech? Because he’s Tom Cruise. His audience stares at him, captivated, as he says, smiling, “And on the 5th day, God created cheerleaders.” Everyone laughs. Then Tom turns dead serious. An archetype is born.

The rest of the movie is pretty boring.

Next up: Legend

Every Tom Cruise movie, part 4: Risky Business (1983)

“It was great the way her mind worked. No guilt. No doubt. No fear. None of my specialties. Just the shameless pursuit of immediate material gratification. What a capitalist.”

I’m getting the impression from watching these movies that there was an incredible tension in the 80s between the revulsion to authority and selling out and the growing cultural understanding that success equaled money. There are a ton of examples in pop culture of young people taking risks that feel adult but aren’t inherently risky. You’re in high school and your overprotective parents are leaving for the weekend? Better take off your pants, crank the bass, and dance around to Bob Seager. 

Tom Cruise’s character, Joel, has been taught by his parents, teachers, and friends that one can only pursue pleasure by sacrificing success. In his dreams he fails tests or gets in trouble with his parents (a fate tantamount to “throwing his life away”) because he is pursuing women.

But those pursuits that aren’t driven by passion lead to minimal successes, modest profits, and a general mood and tenor of ambivalence. As Joel says early in the movie, “Doesn’t anyone want to accomplish anything, or do you just want to make money?”

It takes losing everything for him to realize that passion and success can be intertwined, and through doing so he achieves his dreams, literally and figuratively.

This is a classic.

Next up: All The Right Moves

Every Tom Cruise Movie, Part 3: Losin’ It (1983)

Did you know that Tom Cruise was in four movies that came out in 1983? What a hard worker! In this one he’s one of four co-leads. He and his buddies are culturally insensitive high-schoolers who go to Tijuana to get laid.

Tom’s performance is strikingly un-Cruise. He just plays kind of a dorky teen without much personality. Shelly Long is in it, and she’s pretty engaging. For some reason the movie seems to be set in the early 60s, even though there’s no reference to it being a period piece. Weird, slow moving, occasionally funny, often xenophobic. Great soundtrack of rock and roll and doo wop hits.

Curtis Hanson of L.A. Confidential and 8 Mile fame directed this! How weird.

Next is Risky Business, which made Cruise a star. High hopes for that one.

Every Tom Cruise Movie, Part 2: The Outsiders (1983)

I know that there are people who consider this a classic. I thought it was actively bad. The photography was good, and Matt Dillon was good, and I hated everything else.

Tom Cruise is barely even in it! He plays basically the same role as he did in Taps – the overly excited, violent member of the “good” gang.

Attention, early 1980s casting directors: more Tom Cruise, please.

Next up, 1983’s “Losin’ it.” Looks terrible!

Every Tom Cruise Movie, Part 1: Taps (1981)

Taps isn’t very good. Cruise is the 3rd or 4th most important character in an ensemble. He does have a few good Cruise moments. Even in 1981, he was barely sane.

The movie is about a military school that is commandeered by its students after they learn it’ll be shut down. The characters are pretty broadly drawn but who cares because it’s an allegory! It’s a ponderous movie but it isn’t very deep. Also in it: young Sean Penn! He’s pretty good.

It’s not that it’s a bad movie. Just not very memorable.

Next movie to watch: The Outsiders