A young, naive blonde bombshell moves to L.A. to become a singer in the height of the hair metal era. She gets a job at a bar where people rock out constantly and she promptly falls in love with a dorky child who also wants to be singer. They are played by the only two actors in the movie who aren’t particularly famous and the only two who can sing.
Meanwhile a mayoral candidate and his wife plan to shut down the rock out bar because it’s dangerous and because people thinking rock & roll was dangerous was apparently still at thing in 1987.
Also, a super popular rock band headlined by Tom Cruise is planning on playing their final concert at the bar. I’m not sure why anyone felt that 40-year-old Tom Cruise was the appropriate person to play a rock star/sex god, but that’s who he plays.
There’s also a gay love story that seems like it’s being presented to make fun of Alec Baldwin and Russel Brand’s characters, because two male characters can’t be friends and enjoy music together without being homosexual.
It’s more of a musical revue than anything else because the songs that take up most of the movie’s running time don’t have anything to do with the plot. It’s kind of like listening to a “best of the late 80s” Spotify playlist when you don’t pay for Spotify Premium, except instead of ads you get webisodes of a cliched soap opera.
So, if you’re interested in a 2 hr, 80s-themed episode of Glee…well, whatever. My favorite part was that I didn’t have to pay very close attention.
Next: Jack Reacher
Every Tom Cruise Movie 